


built to fall apart

by perksofbeingabooknerd



Category: Lovely Little Losers
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Just ALL THE ANGST, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:13:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5611753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perksofbeingabooknerd/pseuds/perksofbeingabooknerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John asks Hero out a week before New Year's, and Hero doesn't know how to feel about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. built to fall apart

_One week before New Year’s Eve_

“What did you say?” Hero wasn’t sure she heard him correctly.

John cleared his throat and looked down at his feet. “I, uh-I asked if you wanted to get coffee with me?” He let out a breath, glancing at Hero nervously.

Hero’s eyes widened as she realized he was serious. “Are you…are you asking me on a date?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

She gaped at John, speechless. He’d said he needed to talk to her, but she wasn’t expecting _this_. Sure, they’d been hanging out quite a lot this year, but Hero didn’t know how she felt about him. How she felt about letting someone into her life again.

Besides, she was still coping with Leo’s cancer. His chemotherapy had been a little rocky at first, but his doctor was fairly positive about his recovery. She was trying to stay positive, too.

“I don’t know what to say.” She saw him swallow and look away.

John shoved his hands into his pockets so she wouldn’t notice them shaking. Why had he thought this was a good idea, again? “It’s just coffee, Hero, you don’t have to.”

Hero looked at John, really looked at him. He was her friend. She liked being around him. With him, there was no pressure to be anything or do anything. Ever since she’d found out about the cancer, John had been there. He’d driven her to the flat in Wellington, and he frequently asked if she needed anything. He calmed her down when she got upset. One time he’d even invited her to have a Doctor Who marathon with him and Cora after a particularly emotional day spent at the hospital. John was good for her, wasn’t he?

Hero had come a long way since the year before. She’d grown stronger, more resilient. What happened to Leo was fucking terrible, but he would get through it. They all would. Maybe it was time to branch out a little. Let herself have fun. It was just a coffee. No big deal.

But then Beatrice popped into her head for some strange reason, and Hero suddenly knew it was a bad idea. Sure, getting coffee with John was nothing, but what if it led somewhere? How would she explain that?

“I-I can’t. Sorry.” And with that, Hero turned and walked away, her stomach churning with anxiety.

John watched her disappear around the corner. “Fuck.”

 

_Six days before New Year’s Eve_

Cora: so how’d it go??

John: she said no

Cora: oh.

Cora: you okay?

John: yep.

John: i didn’t expect her to say yes, so it’s fine. it was a bad idea, anyway.

Cora: :/ sorry mate

 

_Five days before New Year’s Eve_

Meg: you excited for New Year’s babe?

Hero: yeah, just gonna watch movies with the fam xx

Meg: aw, what about the guy?

Hero: what guy?

Meg: your new boyf ;)

Hero: i don’t know what you’re talking about meg

Meg: okay babe, enjoy your midnight kiss, you deserve it!

Hero: i’m not going to be kissing anyone bc i don’t have a boyfriend

 

_Four days before New Year’s Eve_

Hero studied the scene before her. Mum had suggested they all do a puzzle, just to pass the time, but it was particularly difficult and Leo was still tired from chemotherapy the day before. So he’d retired to his room to nap for a few hours, and eventually Mum made her excuses as well. Mumma was out with a client. So it was just Hero and the scattered puzzle pieces on the kitchen table.

Figuring out the puzzle was hard, and it took her a good portion of the day, but it was a nice break from thinking about John. She hadn’t been able to get him off her mind for very long ever since he asked her out a few days ago. A part of Hero wished he’d never brought it up. He’d completely rattled her, and she hated feeling like that.

But another part of her had to admit she’d seen it coming. Hero saw the glances John gave her when he thought she wasn’t looking. He liked her. She just didn’t know why it’d taken her this long to figure it out.

Hero sighed loudly. She didn’t need this, didn’t need her life to get more complicated than it currently was. She glanced at her phone for the millionth time. John had texted her that morning, and she wasn’t sure how to answer it.

John: are we good?

Were they okay? Hero didn’t know. She wanted them to be. She wanted him in her life, and yeah, maybe she liked him too. But if Hero took that step, everything would change, and she needed some stability in her life right now. She summoned up her courage before she went to bed and texted John back.

Hero: yeah. we’re good.

 

_Three days before New Year’s Eve_

John woke up late the next morning and had to rush to get ready for errands with Ann, so he didn’t see Hero’s text until a few hours later. He grinned, relief coursing through his veins. Ann glanced over from the driver’s seat and smiled.

“Haven’t seen one of those in a while.”

John just looked out the window and smiled. It hurt to watch Hero walk away from him, but the thought of losing her completely hurt even more. He knew it was a lot to ask her to take that next step with him. He figured it was more than she could give him right now, and he was fine with that.

 

_Two days before New Year’s Eve_

“Mumma, I’m fine, really,” Hero insisted for the fifth time that week.

Her mom smiled at her fondly. “I know, darling. We just worry about you sometimes.”

Hero averted her eyes and focused on the plate she was washing. “You have nothing to worry about. I promise.”

“It’s just, you’re always cooped up here. You should be having fun with your friends. What ever happened to Ursula, or John?”

She noticed a small spot and rubbed at it furiously, trying in vain to get rid of it. “Nothing. Ursula has work, and John is, uh, busy.”

Mumma raised an eyebrow. “With what? As I seem to recall, you two used to be thick as thieves. What happened, did you have a fight?”

Hero frowned. The spot wasn’t going away. “Nothing happened,” she lied.

A moment passed. “You should invite him round if he’s not doing anything, we’d love to see him again.”

“I’ll ask him.”

She almost did, too. She almost picked up the phone and called him. But she hung up before the call could go through. What was she so afraid of? It was John. He was one of the few people she was comfortable with. Hero missed him. She hated the fact that they weren’t speaking. She promised herself she would talk to him…soon. She just had to work up the nerve to actually go to his house and see him, face to face.

 

_One day before New Year’s Eve_

John loved his parents, he really did, but he was relieved when they left the house to pick up a few things for a party they were going to tomorrow night. They kept asking about Hero, and how she was doing, and how Leo was doing, and when they were going to see her again. They also must’ve asked him about five or ten times if he wanted to come along with them to said party. John reminded them that he wasn’t really a party person, and told them he would hang out with Cora, conveniently leaving out the fact that she already had plans with her own family. He didn’t mind being alone on New Year’s Eve. He liked the quiet.

The only thing eating away at him was Hero. They were avoiding each other. He knew it was a bad idea asking her out, but he didn’t regret it. He didn’t want to look at her anymore and wonder “what if?”

He should talk to her, he knew that. He should just get in his car and drive to her house. John must’ve sat in his room for half an hour at least, trying to convince himself to get up and leave. But he didn’t.

“Coward,” he hissed to himself.

 

_New Year’s Eve_

Hero didn’t have time to decide what to do about John, because both her mums kept her busy preparing for their special New Year’s Eve dinner. They did it every year, and decided to continue the tradition. Yes, their world had been rocked. Yes, Leo was terribly sick, and they didn’t know how long it would take him to recover. But Mumma had insisted on celebrating the end of the year. They all could use a little cheer.

So she shoved John to the back of her mind and focused on getting ready for New Year’s. She wanted to be fully present with her family, both in mind and in body. And it worked for a while, until she checked her phone to find a message from John wishing her a happy New Year. Hero almost texted him back. Almost.

She drank a few glasses too many at dinner, and if her mums noticed, they didn’t say anything. Leo wasn’t above making a quip at her expense, however.

“Oh, hush, you,” Hero shot back. He just grinned back at her. “It’s New Year’s Eve.”

Afterwards, all four of them settled onto the couch and slipped a movie into the DVD player. Hero couldn’t focus on any of it, however. The alcohol coursing through her veins demolished the barriers in her mind, and all she could think about was John. She wondered what he was doing at that moment. Was he at a party? Was he going to kiss someone at midnight? Was he thinking of her? Did she want to be the one to kiss him?

She wasted no time in texting John, her inhibitions removed.

Hero: where are you?

Her phone buzzed a few minutes later.

John: at home, why?

Hero stared at her phone for a moment, deciding what to do. She stood up abruptly.

“I’ll be right back.” She left before they could say anything.

 

_30 minutes to midnight_

Hero couldn’t remember walking to John’s house, but suddenly there she was, right at his front door. She took several deep breaths and raised her hand to knock.

“Nope.” Hero changed her mind at the last second and paced back and forth instead. God, why was this so hard? It was John. No matter their history or what he’d done in the past, they were friends now. Or something like that. Friends talked about things. They worked things out. So why was Hero so nervous right now?

 _Just do it_. So Hero squeezed her eyes shut and knocked on the door three times. It was freezing. A minute passed and nothing happened, but that didn’t slow the pounding of her heart.

“Come on, John.”

Hero: I’m outside your door.

Another five minutes, and nothing. Hero knew it was a bad idea. He was probably ignoring her. She shouldn’t have come here.

Hero rubbed her hands together, trying to bring some warmth to them. She started to feel silly, walking all the way over here by herself, in the dark and the cold. She wasn’t in a movie. People didn’t do dramatic things like this at just the right time. She was just about to turn around and head back home when she glanced up and saw the light streaming from John’s room.

So he hadn’t been lying from his text, but why wasn’t he answering her? Hero was running out of courage and ways to get his attention. A voice in her head told her to stay and keep trying, and she almost laughed when she noticed the stones lying on the ground.

“God, John, are you really going to make me do this?” Hero sighed and leaned down to pick up a handful of pebbles. She stepped over to his window and threw a pebble at the glass. She waited in silence anxiously. Nothing.

John appeared at his window after the third time, surprise written all over his face. Hero gestured for him to open the window.

“Hero?”

“I need to talk to you,” she called out.

“I’m coming down.” John shut the window and disappeared.

 

_15 minutes to midnight_

Hero folded her arms across her chest and shivered, walking back to the door. She wished her heart would stop beating so quickly. The door opened before she knew it, and there he stood before her. It was the first time she’d seen him face to face in a week. God, she’d really missed him.

“What are you doing here?” John looked around behind Hero and frowned. “How long have you been out here?”

“Not that long.” Hero’s teeth chattered. He reached out to grasp her arm.

“Jeez, you’re freezing. Come in, come in.” John pulled her inside quickly and shut the door.

“T-thanks,” Hero got out as she followed him to the kitchen and sat at the table.

“Do you need a blanket?” John called over his shoulder. “Or some tea maybe?”

Hero was dismayed to find that her nerves had returned, and that the alcohol was starting to fade away. _Dammit_. “Er, whatever is fine. Thanks.”

He came back into the kitchen a few minutes later, draping a blanket over Hero’s shoulders.           

“Thanks.”

“Tea?”

“Yeah, sure.” Hero stared at the tabletop, her eyes following the swirls in the wood.

John stepped over to the stovetop and put the kettle on. He was so glad his back was to Hero, because he was sure his cheeks were turning all red. The last thing he wanted was for her to see how nervous he was. They were friends. Friends didn’t get this worked up just by being in the same room. He had to compose himself.

So there he stood watching the kettle like an idiot, firmly ignoring the elephant in the room. After a moment, Hero cleared her throat. John let out a shaky breath, knowing he should turn around and sit at the table with her. He felt her eyes on him as he sank into a chair.

“So,” John began. “The rocks were…a nice touch. Why didn’t you knock?”

He glanced up just in time to see Hero blush. His chest ached at the sight. God, he really fucking liked her.

“I, uh, I did. And I texted you.”

John wanted to smack himself on the head. He hadn’t heard her knocking because of his music, and of course the one time he didn’t pay attention to his phone, it was important. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I just-I think we should talk. You know. About...”

The hissing of the kettle interrupted Hero, and John took that moment to escape into the kitchen again.

“Hold on.” He busied himself with pouring tea into two mugs he’d pulled out of the cupboard. No sugar for him, two sugars for Hero. Just the way he knew she liked it.

She smiled at him gratefully when he returned to the table and handed her her mug. “Thanks.”

“Are you any warmer?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, thanks.”

The two of them spent the next moment quietly sipping on their tea, even though it was still hot.

 _It’s now or never._ Hero took a breath. “I wanted to talk to you about that day. The day you asked me out.”

“Hero-”

She shook her head. “No, just let me talk, okay? Look, you really caught me off guard with that. I know we’ve gotten close this year, and especially recently, and in hindsight I guess I should’ve seen it coming. But, I dunno, at the time, that was the last thing I expected.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to let me down easy. I get it.”

“Just listen, okay? I have to say this.” Hero took another breath, the words spilling out. “You have no idea how long it took me to be okay again, to get to this point, right now. I’ve worked really fucking hard on myself and I’ve learned how to make myself happy, and not rely on others for it. And I know I forgave you for what happened last year. I know that you’ve changed, you’re not that angry person anymore, and I’ve changed too. And that’s good. I said no to you, because, well, I haven’t been asked out in quite a long time, and I didn’t know what to do. I was scared of letting someone in again, and John, you are way too important to me to risk losing. Also, you just have the worst timing, you know that? I’ve only known about Leo for a month now. I don’t need my life to get turned upside down again.”

Hero fell silent suddenly and took a long drink from her mug.

John kept his eyes on the tabletop, feeling like such an asshole. “I…”

“I mean, really, you can’t just ask me out like it’s nothing. At least give me some warning so I know what to expect.”

“Hero-”

“You were there, John. You were there when I got the news about Leo. You saw me fall apart. Things fall apart, and they’re never the same again. It takes work, real work to even come close to being okay again. So do relationships.”

John was quiet for a minute. “I’m sorry. It was a bad idea to ask you out. I know that. But I won’t apologize for the way I feel about you.”

 _Oh_. Hero swallowed.

“I already know that I fucked up, so if you came here just to yell at me…”

She smiled to herself. “Do you hear what I’m saying, John?”

He just looked at her, wishing she would leave so he could lick his wounds in private.

“I’m saying yes.”

“What?”

“I promised myself a long time ago that I would stop living my life for others, that I wouldn’t worry about what other people think. The old me would never have become friends with you. But I’ve changed a lot this year. I’m going after things that make me happy. And…you make me happy, John. Even when everything’s shit.”

John was speechless. Out of all the things that he thought Hero would say to him, this was not one of them.

She stared at him, waiting for a response. “John? Will you say something?”

He found his voice again. “I make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“You…like me?”

“Yes, of course.”

John’s head started spinning. “And you’re saying you want to be with me? As more than friends?”

Hero tentatively placed her hand over John’s. Her touch was like a jolt to his heart. “Yes. But I need stability in my life right now. You have to be in it for the long run, understand?”

And in that moment, he felt like he could fly. John took a moment to process her words, then looked down at her hand on his. Slowly, he shifted his hand to tangle his fingers with hers.

“I’m not going anywhere,” John said softly, looking into her eyes. She smiled, and suddenly, everything was alright again.

“Good.” Hero knew that the warmth in her chest wasn’t just from the hot cup of tea or the blanket. In that moment, she felt happier than she had in weeks.

John shifted his gaze to the clock on the kitchen wall and smirked. “It’s almost midnight.”

“So it is.”

“And you’re here with me.”

“Looks like it.” Hero smirked right back at him.

John glanced down at her mouth for a split second, which Hero noticed. She took a moment to decide what to do next.

Wasn’t Mumma always telling her that life was short, and she should seize every chance at happiness that she could get? She could date John and still be there for Leo. Couldn’t she? Hero decided to take that leap, knowing everything would change.

_One minute to midnight_

Hero closed the distance between them, still holding John’s hand.

“What are you doing?”

She was relieved to find that he seemed as nervous as she felt. His freckles were even lovelier up close. “I was going to kiss you, if that’s okay.”

Both their hearts skipped a beat.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” John managed to say as Hero drew closer to him. It was a bit awkward at first, but then her mouth was on his and he stopped thinking. She was so beautiful, and he was so intoxicated by her proximity. He had wanted to kiss her for so long; he just never thought it would actually happen.

Hero loved that he tasted like Earl Grey. She loved his warmth radiating onto her, and the feel of his hand in hers.

They drew back, both slightly breathless.

“So…” Hero began.

John wanted to kiss her again. “Hero.”

“Yes?” She loved the way he said her name.

“Will you go out with me? On a proper date?”

Hero just nodded happily. John grinned and kissed her again, cupping her cheek. She leaned her body closer to him, and when the clock struck twelve, they both jumped and giggled.

She leaned her forehead against his. “Happy New Year, John.”

“Happy New Year, Hero.”


	2. fall back together

Hero giggled. “This is so weird,” she murmured against his mouth.

“I know.”

She drew back suddenly, a panicked look on her face. “Oh god, I left so suddenly, my family...”

And with that, Hero scooted her chair back and folded the blanket up on the table. John looked down, trying to slow his erratic heartbeat again.

“Sorry. I have to go.” She bit her lip, wondering what to do next. How were they supposed to act now, considering everything that’d just happened?

“Okay.” John met her gaze, unsure of how to proceed. He was still reeling over her kiss, and now that she was standing in front of him, her cheeks flushed and her hair all mussed, he felt like it was all a dream.

“Um…” Hero chuckled nervously. “Thanks for the tea!”

“Yeah, sure.”

“So what now? How do we act? Do I kiss you goodbye? Do I shake your hand?”

“I don’t know.” John stood up as well and grabbed her mug. He was just getting used to the idea that she liked him back. This was new, uncharted territory. And he had no clue how to navigate it. “I guess we’ll have to talk more about it.”

Hero’s eyes lit up. “Yes! We should. Definitely. But…later, yeah?”

John nodded firmly, mug still in hand. “Yes, yes, sure. I, uh…I’ll call you?”

A smile slowly spread over Hero’s face. “Sounds good. Okay. Uh, see you later.”

 

“I’ll walk you to the door.” John remembered his manners at the last minute. After a brief hug, she shot a smile up at him and disappeared. John shut the door behind her and leaned against it, his legs feeling weak all of a sudden. Had that really just happened?

 

It was dark when Hero returned home, but she could still see the brightness of the kitchen clock. It read 12:34, much to her surprise. She’d been gone longer than she realized. Mum and Mumma were going to kill her.

She tiptoed upstairs, cursing that her room was past theirs. Their door was open, of course. Hero paused before she reached the doorway, taking a deep breath. Mum had her reading glasses on and a book in her lap, and Mumma was talking to her in hushed tones. They both glanced up at her appearance.

“Sorry I was gone so long,” Hero said quietly.

“We were wondering where you were,” Mumma said. She wasn’t quite frowning, but she didn’t look very happy either.

“Hero, darling, please don’t just leave like that with no warning. We were worried about you.” Mum slipped her glasses off.

Hero looked down at her feet. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I was, uh, I was with John. Wasn’t looking at the time.” She blushed, suddenly aware of her still messy hair. She couldn’t help her smile, either. Hero glanced up quickly to see her mums sharing a knowing glance.

“That’s nice,” was all Mum said. On came the reading glasses again.

“You know he’s welcome here any time, love. But next time, tell us where you’re going, alright?”

Hero couldn’t believe she was getting off so easy. “Right. Right. Sorry. I will. Um, goodnight. And Happy New Year’s.”

“Happy New Year’s.”

She was sure they would come up with a punishment for her in the morning, but in that moment, she didn’t care. Hero felt lighter than she had in weeks. She knew there was still a lot to figure out with her and John, but she was confident that they could do it. After all, she’d learned from her cousin’s mistakes. Both she and John had grown as people, especially that year. Or the previous year, she should say. Hero snorted at the thought.

If they could manage to become good friends, she was sure they could manage to begin a relationship. And it was with that thought that Hero fell to sleep, a smile still on her face.

 

John woke up the next morning before his alarm went off. He lay in bed, trying to remember the remnants of his dream. Something amazing happened, but he couldn’t recall what.

And then he was fully awake, as the memories from last night trickled in. John lightly touched his still tingling lips, certain then that what happened with Hero wasn’t a dream. It was real. The text she sent him before midnight and the feeling of her mouth on his proved it.

“Oh, my god.” John hid his face in his hands and laughed giddily. He’d kissed girls before, but with Hero, it was different. He felt more…alive. It was times like this that he really wished he had his brother around to tell him what to do about this. Normally John would’ve just risen from his bed and knocked on Peter’s door, but considering he was still in Wellington with Balthazar, texting might be the more viable option.

John: i need to talk to you. call me please

He didn’t get a response until a few hours later, which he expected. Peter wasn’t known to be an early riser. And John hardly minded, he spent the time reading and thinking about Hero. He even found himself humming a few times.

Peter: hey, give me a minute.

John’s phone buzzed soon after.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Heyyy, Peter.” John couldn’t work out the best way to bring up his predicament.

A moment passed.

“Everything alright?  You said you wanted to talk.”

John sighed and let his head fall against the wall he stood in front of. “You know how Hero and I are friends?”

“Hero? Yeah, of course I know that. How’s Leo, by the way?”

“He’s fine, he’s fine. Anyway, I, uh, I asked her out a while ago, and…”

“Hold on. You like her?” Peter sounded more astonished than appalled.

“Er, yeah. I do. But she said no and then last night she came over and told me she liked me too and then she kissed me and I asked out her again and now I don’t know what to do, Peter, help me.” John let out a breath.

Peter was silent for a full ten seconds. John almost thought that he’d hung up.

“You there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Just give me a second to, uh, process this.”

“Okay.” John gnawed at his lip anxiously.

“Okay. So. You like Hero. As more than a friend. You asked her on a date, she said no. Then she came round last night, confessed her undying love for you, and you asked her out again. Then what?”

“She said yes.”

“Okay. Great! I don’t see what the problem is.”

John banged his head against the wall. “The problem is me, Peter. I don’t know the first thing about dates or relationships or any of that stuff. Oh my god, I even think I said I would call her. Shit. Will she be expecting that? When should I call her? What do I even say? What do I tell-”

Peter laughed a little, but not unkindly. “John, John, slow down. Take a breath. It’s gonna be okay.”

He obeyed his brother’s command, but somehow still felt frazzled. “I can’t mess this up, Peter.”

“You won’t. Besides, I think I fucked things up enough for both of us this year. Well. Last year, I guess I should say.”

John chuckled at that. “Cheers.”

“Seriously, bro, you’ll be fine. Just be honest, and talk about things. You saw the mess we all got in. ‘Communication is key’. Make sure you two are on the same page, yeah? Learn from my mistakes.”

“Peter…”

“No, no, it’s fine. Just…talk to her. And don’t worry about what people think. I know Hero, she’s a good judge of character. If you wanna be with her, that’s nobody’s business but your own.”

John fell silent for a moment, unable to believe how supportive his brother was being. After what had happened with him and Hero all those months ago, he would’ve thought that anyone’s reaction to this news would be to discourage him. But then again, people changed. Or so his therapist said. John just hoped he’d changed enough to be able to keep the good things in his life.

“Thanks, Peter. That…means a lot. But you still haven’t told me when I should call her. Because I read somewhere that you’re not supposed to call a girl right away, so I-”

Peter laughed again. “John. This is Hero we’re talking about. You’re not getting married or anything, just going on a date. Wait until tomorrow, maybe, or even later today. I dunno. I never was good at this, either. Good luck, bro.”

They hung up shortly after. John eased away from the wall and tossed his phone onto his desk, sinking onto his bed. He definitely felt a lot better after talking to Peter, but he was still anxious about the whole thing. He had to break the news to Ann and his dad sooner or later, they would guess eventually. And Cora would kill him if she found out before he told her himself.

At no point did John regret any of this. He liked Hero, he had for a while. He was happy to have her in his life. Considering how well the situation between them ended up, John wouldn’t take back anything. He just worried that he would fuck it up somehow.

 _No. Away._ John banished the thoughts from his mind and focused on the positives, just like his therapist had taught him. Hero liked him back, enough to want to date him. That was a good thing. If people reacted to their relationship negatively or gave them shit, well, he would cross that bridge when he got to it. They both would.

 

Hero: so i have a confession to make. about last night.

Meg: yesss, did you finally hook up with someone??

Hero: well i don’t want to kiss and tell, but…

Meg: HERO DUKE

Meg: YOU NAUGHTY MINX

[Outgoing Call from Meg to Hero: 21 minutes]

Hero had told Meg about John, obviously. She was a little skeptical at first, but she knew Hero was already friends with him. It wasn’t like this came out nowhere. After her initial surprise, Meg was appropriately enthusiastic in all the right places, and screamed in happiness upon hearing about Hero’s romantic New Year’s kiss with John.

She was so glad that Meg took the news well, especially considering her rocky history with John. Meg didn’t talk about it very much, but Hero knew she’d been damaged by John’s fucked up scheme two years before. John had apologized to Hero, but for the longest time, he failed to do the same for Meg. It was only recently that Meg had told Hero that he’d finally stepped up to the plate. He’d talked to her privately while he was visiting in Wellington and acknowledged what he’d done to her as well. And he was sorry for that, he really was. Meg had accepted his apology, and as a result, dropped her icy demeanor around him. Hero knew the two of them weren’t going to be the best of friends anytime soon, but she was just glad that they were getting along. And that Meg could be completely and totally happy for her.

Only there was one thing she was forgetting. She hadn’t told her family yet. Or Beatrice.

Shit.

Just the thought of sitting the four of them down for that conversation was nerve-wracking. Not that Bea would be there with the rest of them; she was still traveling with Ben. Just for a short period of time. Bea had left for Sydney the day after Christmas, and promised to return shortly after the year began. Hero missed her cousin, but she couldn’t say she was looking forward to telling her that she wanted to date John Donaldson. She knew Bea; she knew how she would react. And Hero wasn’t sure she was ready for her cousin’s anger and resentment to tarnish her bubble of happiness.

She took comfort in the fact that Bea wouldn’t be back for another week or so. This was definitely not something that could be said over the phone. Bea deserved better than that.

Hero sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy, but she hoped it was all worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first, thank you to everyone who's shown support and love for this. ahhhh! i write a lot of donalduke but i'm so pleased to see that this one is getting a lot of love.  
> second, sorry that this one is shorter, it just felt right to end it in that place.  
> third, don't worry, there will be a lot more talking about feelings and communication and stuff :)  
> fourth, come say hi on tumblr and we can cry about these two kids together  
> enjoy!


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